Blogging.....coming back after 4 years

Yes, It is nice to be back....So much happened in these 4 years and most of it was for good...made me better person.
Today I am dedicating this blog to all those mothers who have taken break in their career because they did not have support at home for their children. Those mothers, who were not ready to leave their children alone at an important stage of their life where they needed their mother the most.

I had a different situation as I came to Bangalore with my children who were 9 and 5 years old, and with new environment, city and school, I was not comfortable leaving them alone at home. So I chose to take a break. Here I want to make it very clear, that every mother and their situation is different so if something is done by me- might not be correct for other.

Hubby dear was busy in his new job and its endless demands. And I took responsibility of taking care at home front. Life threw many challenges, I also could not sit idle at home, as I always wanted to be a career person. Sometimes that frustration vented out on hubby and kids, but they co-operated so well. I worked for a school as PRO for 2 years, worked as visiting faculty for 6 months, sell insurance for 6 years and time flew....and the day came when my elder son completed his 10th grade. I wanted to begin my career again, but I was clueless. I started applying for job.....I am a semi-qualified finance person, and it was very difficult to find job with in-complete qualification. I searched and searched and searched.....believe me, it was the most difficult time of my life. I attended many interviews, with this thought that I just need a beginning to prove myself. In the meanwhile, my younger son was in 7th std. Now children also want to see as their idle, and I was continuously getting rejections from different interviews, it was shown in my attitude too. I was struggling with my dreams and my realities. Not sure, what gave me confidence....my sons, friends or hubby....but I did not stop making efforts, finally one day, I got a call from a small company to work as Finance consultant. Salary was very less,....may be equal to my conveyance +pocket money.
In these years, hubby worked very hard and reached to high profile job (We both were working on equal level ,before I quit 7 years back) Now the pressure was not to accept the offer as it was taking full day effort and was not paying enough. Honestly, finance is also changed a lot during these years, many new technologies introduced, which were absolutely new for me. But I was very adament and joined the company with heavy heart. Some friends laughed, some supported. Hubby also had mixed feeling, which sometimes worked in my favour, sometimes against. Finally the day came, when I started my job. It was in May 2010.
First month was so difficult as kids were not habitual to live without me, they wanted food to be cooked by me. I was not earning so good, that I can keep a maid servant. Office was 18 km away from home, so driving in peak hour bangalore traffic was killing me on daily basis. Days passed.....then weeks .....and months....slowly I started buying small things for home....which gave me confidence. I worked very hard to learn new systems and procedures. My confidence level was increasing and with that, children and hubby confidence was coming back in me, about my working status. During my job, I also completed my MBA, so ensure that I can join a better company and better perk level. Believe me, it is not easy to sit at home for 7 years for a semi-qualified person, who does not have a professional degree to show, but just a strong desire to be a career person. The company where I was working, all my colleagues were so young to me ,therefore keeping a pace with them was another challenge....I faced all of them.....A year passed and I completed one year in finance consultancy. At the increment time, I got the best increment alongwith retention bonus....that was the time I realised that I am ready for corporate world....which is very challenging, demanding and professional...I always wanted to work in a corporate company......I started another dream......will continue my story in my next week blog :)

Trying hand in new things

Two weeks back I have started two classes together...Learning Kannada from one of my neighbour of the layout and other one is Fitness class by joining a Gim near my layout. Incidently both the classes started on the very same day.I was anyways very much occupied and now it is even worst, but this is truely a new experience and I am thoroughly enjoying each moment of these two classes, rather everyday waiting to go and attend these classes. (Kannada is twice a week and Gim class is 6 days a week)

I am learning Kannada, speaking and writing both. Somehow I am finding writing easier then speaking as the pronunciation is really tough to pick up. Moreover, people start laughing the moment we start speaking Kannada. No wonder, as this happens with everyone when they start speaking new language. Even today my children have this opinion about my english that I speak it with punjabi accent although I have never spoken Punjabi fluently and never got a chance to live in Punjab for long. But kids have an english accent which I could not pick up the same way. Even today I speak in English after getting it translated from Hindi in my mind. That might make a little difference to my diction. God knows what will I do with Kannada?? But I am enjoying every bit of it and will try my best to pick the diction at the earliest.

As far as Gim, it is a new experience. My friend and I go together and work-out for one to one and half an hour, with treadmill, cycling, cross trainer and weights alongwith crunches and abs exercises. I am feeling much better in fitness in just 15 days although no change in weight but still I am more active and energetic. I really wish to continue with this routine. My back pain is completely gone. Normally people think that Gimming is tough or painful but I had a fruitful experience. The reason might be the physical trainer or our year long yoga classes which had made us flexible enough to handle the pressure but I am lovin it :)

Various Attitudes

I keep wondering how people have various attitudes and different thoughts on the same situation they face in everyday life. I am a member of three mailing groups - one of them is my previous company's colleagues of Delhi who came to Bangalore and joined different companies and learnt to stay away from their hometown. We have some planned get togethers of this group in 3-4 months but people come to these get-togethers not to meet friends but to see how others are performing in their different companies and how big moolahs they are making. I attended some of them and later stopped visiting these meeting as I find it completely foolish and non-productive agenda. How does it make a difference in my life if one of my colleague has got promoted twice in last year. It is good if it inspires me but what is the use if we are meeting our old friends and colleagues with a jealousy and competition in mind. I have seen this in other groups too...We all are working very hard in this competitive environment but why to compare...we can learn new things by sharing and caring but nothing is going to help if we keep looking at other's progress with a competition. Some of my friends have stopped talking to me just because I am taking care of family and not my career. Everyone has right to choose his/her priorities in life. Moreover I am a better judge of my life. Suggestions are welcome but being opionionated is really makes me irritated...hope we all learn to be happy together without being bothered about the social status of our friends, neighbours and colleagues.

How a cyclone named

I always had this question in my mind and my friend have sent me this article...very interesting

It might not be known when the next cyclone will hit the northern Indian Ocean, but what is already known is its name - Bandu, an official said Thursday. Cyclones derive their names through a systematic procedure laid down by the World Meteorological Organisation (WMO) and the United Nations Economic and Social Commission for Asia and the Pacific (ESCAP). Cyclone Laila, which developed in the Indian Ocean off the Andhra Pradesh coast creating much havoc in the state, was named by Pakistan. The next to hit countries in the north Indian Ocean region will be called Bandu - a name given by Sri Lanka, and the one after that will be Phet, named by Thailand. Eight north Indian Ocean countries - Bangladesh, India, the Maldives, Myanmar, Oman, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Thailand - have prepared a list of 64 names. "We give identity to the cyclones as per the list finalised by the WMO," M. Mahopatra, director of the cyclone division of the India Meteorological Department (IMD), told IANS. "The practice of naming storms (tropical cyclones) began years ago to help in their quick identification while issuing warnings because names are presumed to be far easier to remember than numbers or technical terms," Mahopatra explained. "When a hurricane hits these countries, the Regional Specialised Meteorological Centre (RSMC), housed in the IMD office in New Delhi, picks up the name next on the list. The RSMC has been set up by the WMO for forecasting tropical cyclones in the Arabian Sea and the Bay of Bengal," he said. The countries take turns in naming the cyclones. The last six were: Nisha (Bangladesh), Bijli (India), Aila (Maldives), Phyan (Myanmar), Ward (Oman) and the most recent being Laila (Pakistan). Local names are used for cyclones to make it convenient for use. In the 1970s, the WMO in Geneva asked some countries around the Pacific Ocean to prepare a list of names. The decision to name the cyclones in the Indian Ocean was taken at a meeting of WMO/ESCAP in 2000.

The other side of the mirror

So much is written and discussed about old age people. Their problems - financial, social and physical - but very rarely the other side of the story.

In Bangalore, so many young couples are working in IT industry in different shifts and coping with various time zones. They also have children (one or two maximum). In previous times most of the parents had worked in govt. authorities or nine - to - six schedule. We have always seen our father at home latest by 6:30pm to spend time with us or reading newspaper alongwith tea and pakodas. Children were studying in govt. schools ( without any shame) or public schools fee structure was also not very heavy. Mothers used to work at home and there was rarely any pressure of being a working mother. Parents also had pension schemes in their organisation for their old age and therefore very less worry about saving too much.
But today things are changed and money plays a big role. This generation works in multinational companies in odd shifts. These companies does not provide any security after leaving the company. On top of it, immense pressure of children's upbringing and their education. Cut throat competition and job hopping have made the things even worst. It is a continuous race. Most of the young parents are working in different locations away from their birthplace and relatives.
With all this, so much hype is created for old age parents and their mental insecurities. Although parents have saved for themselves and often they does not want to stay with their children as their son and daughter-in-law is working and they have to take care of grand children. Even if a full time maid is appointed at home but keeping an eye on the maid is a responsibility. Odd shifts and kids with various class schedules and gizmos are another tension to grand parents.
I feel that it should be the personal choice of the parents and children if they want to be together or away from each other. But there should not be any pressure or blame game. Most of the times children listen from their relatives that they have left their parents alone but it is not always true. Sometimes parents does not want to be a solution for their children's hectic schedule and odd working hours. They don't want to be disturbed with the noise of kitchen when their son or DIL (daughter-in-law) has come home mid-night after work. They don't want to be disturbed when DIL is getting up wee hours to prepare food for the family because she has to start for work early morning. They don't want to be the helping hand but just want to enjoy their old age nicely with bhajans and friend's gathering. They judge their kids love with the money they have spent on them.
I don't have any issues if they choose to be away from their son, as they have all the right to enjoy their last days of life after so many responsibilities but they should make this clear to all the friends and relatives that it is their own choice and their son has not left them alone. We should rather try to be together emotionally if not physically.
Everyone will reach to this old age and kids observes how we treat our parents. They learn values from the behaviour of their parents. Being money wise is good but sometimes we should trust our children.

Different opinions

Being an insurance advisor from LIC, I tend to meet new people everyday and actually this is quite fulfilling. May be this is a gemini trait. I am sharing some of my experiences here

Few days back I met a young lady aged 33 - They have to reveal the actual age due to my business requirement :) She is sister of my ex-colleague so we knew a little about each other. She got married approx 5 years before and both husband and wife are working with multinational companies. During conversation I asked if she was pregnant (again my business requirement). To my surprise ...she questioned me - What have I got being a mother - I had to leave my career and spent almost 5 years completely at home...most of the time doing household cores like cleaning, cooking or washing for kids or teaching them values of life..and on top of it saving for their future and education from the single income we have and even after all this, not sure if they are on the right track or not...I was speechless for a while and did not argue with her, but could not stop wondering about views this generation is having for the family. I personally feel it is a selfish way of living as you earn and spend on yourself and never think about sharing it with others. What if our previous generations have also thought the same way and our existence was doubtful.

The very next day I met another man (aged 40 years) who is head of the company and doing well not only for his wife and two sons aged 15 and 10 years but also helped his two younger brothers in their careers and while talking he was so content and calm. He was also very concerned about the future of his sons and their education. Being at the top in his company, he travels a lot and spend most of his time away from family. But he tries to be back home on weekends to spend time with his kids and wife.

It all made me think and realise how the generation is changing and becoming 'practical' But does it really help ? What will they have to cherish when they will retire. I grow with my sons....I am doing my business and studying in 10th and 6th too...as my sons are my part....I feel happy with their success and always encouraged. We play and read together. We dance and roam around. I love being with them specially while in the car as we scream at the top of voice (singing) Because I know that even when I will not do anything I have my kids success and growth to live and cherish....but what would be there at our old age to look for if we don't have children?

I would have asked for the same family even if god would have given me choices .....

My Kathak Teacher

I have recently joined classes for Kathak - a classical dance form from U.P., India. From my childhood days, I used to love watching programs based on classical music and dance. Once I requested my mother to teach me this dance but she refused. Now when I got this opportunity (the teacher stays in my layout only) I could not stop myself.

The day I joined, My teacher, Bhawna had told us about the history of Kathak and how this dance form was misused by some dancers during British rule and mutilated its reputation. She also explained why we use our right foot or hand to begin with our dance. While listening to her, I observed how dedicated she is to her teaching. She had answers to all our questions and curiosities. I just loved talking about it and learning about various 'dance mudras'. I was really impressed the way she explained each and every step along with its proper angle of hand and leg moment. Needless to say, that she is a perfectionist and does not compromise on any moment unless it is done perfectly.
I also talked to Rachna, my friend, who has learnt Kathak from Bhawna, the same teacher. Rachna also had all the praises for Bhawna and informed how so many ladies have joined Kathak but could not continue for more than a month or two. I am very lucky to have a teacher like Bhawna and that too so near to our residence. I am thoroughly enjoying every class and practicing very dedicatedly at home. My sons are amazed to see me doing dance steps even when I am cooking or cleaning my house. They have also learnt some of the 'tukdas' (the words of dance like ' ta theyi theyi tat') alongwith me. It is just the beginning and I hope to continue with the same dedication if my leg pain will permit me to do the same :)